what a slum i am in

im in afunk. not the healthy kind that we all experience.......im alone. even when im not. my best friend that knew the most about me...shes gone. gone. i cannot wrap my head around it. my qoute for the rest of my life is as follows "once i realized she was really gone... i corrupted from within". nothing seems bright anymore... i try to look at life like she did...you do what you have to.... you live strong...STRONG. only im afraid i cant be strong without her here. im trying to ask my self what would melissa do? MY lissa...what would she do? i have no advice to take from her. none. i am hanging out here by myself....all alone and having nothing to do... im such a wimp that i cant even go to her death site.......i cant even man up enough to go see where she was at the end of her life......i guess all i can do is hold on. I'm gonna make it Lissa.....just gimme a lil while to adjust okay? im trying baby girl.