something to believe in

christmas. now im not one of those critics...nor a person obsessed... but at this time of the year i always feel there is something to believe in. helping others, feeling the closest thing we have to magic- a good swing in mood of humanity....christmas cheer will never ever be absolved. and that is the best part about it all.

bringing him home

yep. the time that all parents dread. they know and love him... but now i bring him to thanksgiving....yes, the one and only blake sumner...my boyfriend. at dinner. with my parents...and everything. it will be fine and fun but still...it kinda makes me nervous even though hes all good with them and comes over frequently and all the stuff but ya know..............i guess its just the traditional idea of the fact that its thanksgiving with y boyfriend there. fun fun.

let the rain fall

rain. some of the best memories i have are in the rain. a first kiss with a guy who meant the world to me, dancing in the puddles with my friend jacob west, driving to ofast with melissa down a dark road with three days grace blaring and me yelling at her to slow down. we drive to a baseball field, and just ran around it until we slipped in the mud on top of each other and began laughing uncontrollably. Ive crie in the rain, sang in the rain, danced in it and played in it, had good times, bad times and every kind inbetween......but i love rain....it is, in a nutshell, the essence of life...............rain symbolizes every kind of day possible - happy rain, said, downpours and light sprinkles we need to make it through....rain is life. thats all there is : )

how low is low?

cheating. in a relationship. wow. im not exactly sure what to say about it..... i just experienced it first hand....and ya know i think i feel nautious...................just to think of those images in my head..........im a person who sees things as they are spoken... i get mentail images and they are never pretty......i dont even know what to say...im just gonna leave it at that and come back to comment on it when i have a greater insight.

friends forever? no... probably never.

so i have a best friend.....except only she isnt acting like one. i dont even know what her problem is. i absolutely hate it when she thinks she knows exactly how i feel or what im thinking when she is so far from it. she has never thought how it made me feel when she got the positions that i wanted....nor does she care. she also doesnt care that she treats me like crap half the time or doesnt even acknowledge my existance and all she wants to freaking do is be so absorbed in her boyfriend ( that she hasnt been with very long at all btw) and then expect me to make time for her at the last minute and i cant stand it... im so sick of her and i dont think i can handle her immaturity anymore and i just want an educated and mature best friend...stupidity can be fun to joke around with but when you play up your stupidity to be noticed by the guys or shove your body parts ( sorry mrs matthews) in their face and say that certain things on your body are bigger than mine just because my waist is smaller and it makes them jealous *takes deep breath*** well that makes me you a CRAPPY friend.
im so mad i dont have anything else to say today.