HEADACHEEEE

HEADACHE. that is what i have, waiting for the day to end so i can go and get drug around the disk golfing course for an hour with my boyfriend, his big brother, his brothers fiances brother, and julie, macks little sister. fun fun. wait. . . OH NO ITS NOT! ugh. maybe i will juts take a nap in the car :p

GOODBYE BABY POSSUM *tear

so we found a baby possum, then he hadto go away : / i even named him bandit :) but then whenever i came home to mack last night after work, he said they had to take him to a special lady that rehabilitated possums and took care of them so they could go back into the wild : / *sigh.

oh no!!!!

Graduation. right. . . i have all the time in the world i thought.. . NO! When i got my cap and gown the other day i felt like i could just faint. I dont feel like school is over for me. I dont feel like its been long enough for me to be getting out of here. WHOA. what a change in the path of life. constant change says mary shelley. . . and she is right.

senior prom : )

prom is tommorow and i am really excited about it. its the last one i will ever go to and im excited tht my boyfriend has come home to stay :) im not exactly sure of everything we are doing tommorow, though i do know we are going to take pictures and eat somewhere which we will decide on later after school when he picks me up :) yay for us

sunday COMEEEE ONNN

MACK IS GOING OT BE HOME ON SUNDAY NIGHT. finally. hallelujahhh!!! i can finally see him and spend time with him again. that'll be nice. FER sure. Anyways. . . right well i dont feel very good and i think senioritis is in full rigor because work is SOOO pointless and i dont even wanna be here all i wanna do is hang out with my friends till like two am every morning which could be why i havent been doing my work. lol. i just hang out with them every night and then yeah. lol. thats how it tends to work. all well. i will graduate. its buckle down time. im failling two classes. . . one of which is econ which is required. ugh. well im gonna make it. i cant not. i got this on lock. dedication is being redfined, even if i wish i didnt have to do it. : p

ROCK THE DEAD

"so many thoughts running through my head but all we wanna do is rock the dead" i am still istening to this song as i type the last blog i need. yeah so. . . i got my tattoo and i loveee it. its great and amazing and i love it sooo much. i wish that i could show it off more but mom doesnt know i have it so yeah. . . anyways mrs matthews likes it : )

extra creditttt

so mrs matthews said if i can get eight of these before friday i get extra credit. sense im going to be gone tommorow and i work tonight, i gotta do all of them now. so. . . im sitting here and listening to the song rock the dead by twizted. i love them. and ICP and KOTTONMOUTH kings and boondox. . . they are really odd music and they say really offensive stuff but it just sticks with you ya know? i love it. MUSIC = LOVEE

my grand master scheme

tommorow is the day :D i get to go to south bend and see my bestest friend ever/ lovw of my life that i have been with off and on for the past four years. my grand master scheme is as folows:
1) go to south bend
2) hang out with mack
3) make him remember how AMAZING we were
4) convince him to bring his but home
5) live happily ever after
:D
the end. . . well i mean kinda. lol. happily depends on your own personal preference i guess : ) but as long as its me and mack, i can make it rhough anything. . . lissa ann would be so proud :))

so......life = I HATE PEOPLE

hmm so how does it work when someone isnt at school or around for forever, and then they suddenly decide that they hate you and dont talk to you or are really witchy towards you. its ridiculous. i hate it when people start acting that way for no reason at all. ( not gonna say any names) ANNALISE ANDERSON *coughs. anyways i think some people around here need to get their act together and stop being such **selfff edits thought** evil people. yes. i think that word is suitable for school. : /

south bennndddd!!!!

SO im going to south bend and im so excited! every day i get even more excited and i cant standdd itttt!!! its amazingggg!!!! yay for me and mack and trying to fix things and making my life the way it should be :) ima ba having the best time ever and im pretty excited that i hung out with justin and brooke and got to see aiden last night. it was greatness, awesomeness.....AMAYYYZINGGG!!!!

romantic guestures

so right. im only eighteen. and. . . i am making the most romantic gesutre ever!!! i am journeying eight hours away to profess my love for my ex and spend the week of spring break with him so that i have a fleeting chance at rekindling our romance and making it permanent this time. He never wouldve left. . . but i did it. yuck. i hate mistakes and stupidity. eww to me. lol. anyways im just casting all my nets and hoping that i can bring him home. . . or that i can make something work out between us. he is already my best friend and most trusted confidont. hope this will work. ima marry that boy someday i swear <3

so close.....

its closer and closer to graduation. closer and closer to all the things i have been waiting for. closer and closer to getting out of my mothers house. I love her but she is driving me nuts. Also, i am going to get my car today which makes me really happy because it is fixed now :)) and i get to cash my check which always makes my day better. Also...i get to see josh...the most amazing person. . . who actually takes care of me better than anyone could have hoped for. this is the longest i have stayed happy with one person in years. this must be what it feels like to be normal. eh...well at least on some aspect. :)

adult = eww

yeah got in trouble for my eighteenth birthday. woo hoo. lol. ehh no not so much. hate it that my mother cant just let it go. ahh well im leaving anyways : /

bloggin.....okay then :)

i dont know what else to say . . . nothing really. i really like this guy that im finally with. josh. ....the guy i would die for. lyrics. have lyrics ever explained you perfectly. an eminen song pertains perfect to what is happening and how i feel about josh " have you ever loved someone so much youd give an arm for em, not the expression, no LITERALLY give an arm for em. when they know they are your heart, and you know you are their armor and you will destroy anyone who will try and harm em" yep. i sure will. back up.....josh is innocent this time.

ohhh dang and the adventure begins

moving out the first of march. HA! this should be interesting. I planned on having my boyfriend move in with me and then he keeps himself logged onto facebook on my laptop, i open it and see he is talking to someone i didnt want him to talk to and he says "its alright she wont find out" really?! come on!!!! this is ridiculous i know we fight all the time but im not living with you if ima kick you out every other day. this has got to stop or we have got to stop. its that simple. im not over reacting, you just think i am!!!! no one else thinks i am. thats fine, i will be ..... alsjdlakjsdlaksjdlksajlsa. AND my other best friend is moving eight hours away....Mackey White. Him and Melissa were my best friends. now i have no one. Score- Life: 29831313 Kyla: zero
: ' ' ' (

hypocrites=I HATE THEM

hypocrites. no one likes them right? and if you ask most people what they hate most they will tell you either liars and/or hypocrites. Unfortunately, most of them would be in self loathing mode if this were entirely true. I hate hypocrites. I hate liars. and i hate cheaters. if i could rid the world of these people however, the worlds population would dramatically decrease. Maybe i should say i hate the sinful acts rather than the people themselves.When one is supposed to be your friend, and they tell you themselves to scew the world and do what makes you happy, then are angered to hatful words when the choice you make is not the path that they themselves would have chosen for you, then they are hypocrites. just a thought.......a painful one.

lasssst one then i can go home where its warm and go to sleep

okay hmmm random things to write about. GRADUATION that should be exciting... im moving out the first of march....uhmm i get my tattoo in twenty seven days ( the day after my eighteenth bday) and i hope i can keep a B in english cuz that would be nice. Prom.....that should be fun. i hope at least...theres a little bit of a problem with the date part....because there are too many people to choose from. loooooong story. lol. anyways ima go home now and stop freeezing. g' night mrs matthews.

parents.

why do they think they always know whats best? when you grow up, they are just sometimes out of line. its a little ridiculous. they bring you to tears and they know they are wrong.....i cant stand it to look at someone crying their eyes out because their parents are that obscene. 

freezing my butt off to make my blog grade

okay matthews...im sitting in my car with blake and its freezing because i forgot about these TEN (its ridiculous) blogs until now and i just got off work. So, here i sit in my car that hasnt warmed up so i can get a grade. yay for english. yay for high school. not so yay for cold weather :(

high school

i hate snowdays. why doesnt anyone understand that snowdays= graduation being pushed back. its not that hard of an equation. yuck for everyone who wants snow. dannnng you !

work

panera. i LOVE it. the food...the people...my job. i also got a raise and a promotion and i trained my first person last night. It was totally cool. lol. it was awesomness. anyways...nothing interesting tonight....the game got cancelled.....blah. gotta find something else for me and joy and ryan to do : (

trademarks...haha i always called them quirks.

hmm...yes. i know people who have "trademarks". my boyfriend ryan for example, he plays with his lip ring CONSTANTLY. and he has a certain voice he does...and then when he is thinking of something he thinks i wont like....he shakes his head and shrugs his shoulder, almost like a twitch. Annalise, she for example (lol) laughs half way through her sentences before she gets to the funny part. She also flips her hair constantly, and rolls her eyes without noticing. my mom, she covers her mouth with her hand before she tells you somethng funny and her eyes get really big. josh laughs when something isnt funny and then says " NO REALLY...it was just ironic"

life.

hmm so there is a guy that is one of my good friends...a BEST friend. i would die for him.... i would kill for him...hes amazing....we are so close...kinda like family...kinda like not....i dont know. hes...great. hes amazing...hes...JOSH. lol. and ive spent time thinking about him today...and i thought i would blog what was on my mind.

the upcoming year.....

college. after graduation in may of course. i am going to OCC next year, then hopefully to USI if not after next year, then the year afterwards.........and at least now i know mark will be there.....a GREAT guy....i love that kidd. and an apartment...im getting an apartment sometime between next month and graduation, and then whenever i transfer to USI i am probably going to get an partment with Mark.......and move up there. at least i will never have car trouble (he is a mechanic)...unless they deploy him (and a solider)...and you probably know him(he graduated from here last year...Mark Coomes.) so thats about it...yeppers. aawesome. blog over......cant talk for much longer or else i will spill my guts...and i am rather opposed to doing thta today : /

SOMETHINGS GOTTA GIVE....OR HAS IT ALREADY

GUILT. we all experience it. we all know it. and yet...sometimes...we cant help doing the things that cause it...they are unavoidable. there are things that mean nothing....on the surface and then when you tihnk about how others would react....it brings you to straight shame. the question i have is...do we need t ofeel guilty when we are making ourselves happy...when we know the person or item that makes us feel guilty would WANT us to be happy...wouldnt mind at all...even if they are gone? can i live with looking at him and thinking of her....and even worse, can he deal with looking at me and thinking of her.....people that were at each others thraots ... once the person who "caused" it is gone...can they really move on. guess we will know after tommorow huh? at least hes home. at least mark isnt dead...cmon...lets try it and see babe.

the start of something new...

hmm. childhood crushes may hold more truth than you believe them too. After six years, you would be amazed to see that people can still connest as if they were never apart. When you hold someone in your heart, i suppose they really are not gone from you. After many years, my child hood crush who graduated from DCHS last year has become an immenent part of my life one again, seeing him frequently. we connect instantly, three years after not seeing each other but once a year....and i think to myself....hearts wont disconnect unless you will them too