lasssst one then i can go home where its warm and go to sleep

okay hmmm random things to write about. GRADUATION that should be exciting... im moving out the first of march....uhmm i get my tattoo in twenty seven days ( the day after my eighteenth bday) and i hope i can keep a B in english cuz that would be nice. Prom.....that should be fun. i hope at least...theres a little bit of a problem with the date part....because there are too many people to choose from. loooooong story. lol. anyways ima go home now and stop freeezing. g' night mrs matthews.

parents.

why do they think they always know whats best? when you grow up, they are just sometimes out of line. its a little ridiculous. they bring you to tears and they know they are wrong.....i cant stand it to look at someone crying their eyes out because their parents are that obscene. 

freezing my butt off to make my blog grade

okay matthews...im sitting in my car with blake and its freezing because i forgot about these TEN (its ridiculous) blogs until now and i just got off work. So, here i sit in my car that hasnt warmed up so i can get a grade. yay for english. yay for high school. not so yay for cold weather :(

high school

i hate snowdays. why doesnt anyone understand that snowdays= graduation being pushed back. its not that hard of an equation. yuck for everyone who wants snow. dannnng you !

work

panera. i LOVE it. the food...the people...my job. i also got a raise and a promotion and i trained my first person last night. It was totally cool. lol. it was awesomness. anyways...nothing interesting tonight....the game got cancelled.....blah. gotta find something else for me and joy and ryan to do : (

trademarks...haha i always called them quirks.

hmm...yes. i know people who have "trademarks". my boyfriend ryan for example, he plays with his lip ring CONSTANTLY. and he has a certain voice he does...and then when he is thinking of something he thinks i wont like....he shakes his head and shrugs his shoulder, almost like a twitch. Annalise, she for example (lol) laughs half way through her sentences before she gets to the funny part. She also flips her hair constantly, and rolls her eyes without noticing. my mom, she covers her mouth with her hand before she tells you somethng funny and her eyes get really big. josh laughs when something isnt funny and then says " NO REALLY...it was just ironic"

life.

hmm so there is a guy that is one of my good friends...a BEST friend. i would die for him.... i would kill for him...hes amazing....we are so close...kinda like family...kinda like not....i dont know. hes...great. hes amazing...hes...JOSH. lol. and ive spent time thinking about him today...and i thought i would blog what was on my mind.

the upcoming year.....

college. after graduation in may of course. i am going to OCC next year, then hopefully to USI if not after next year, then the year afterwards.........and at least now i know mark will be there.....a GREAT guy....i love that kidd. and an apartment...im getting an apartment sometime between next month and graduation, and then whenever i transfer to USI i am probably going to get an partment with Mark.......and move up there. at least i will never have car trouble (he is a mechanic)...unless they deploy him (and a solider)...and you probably know him(he graduated from here last year...Mark Coomes.) so thats about it...yeppers. aawesome. blog over......cant talk for much longer or else i will spill my guts...and i am rather opposed to doing thta today : /

SOMETHINGS GOTTA GIVE....OR HAS IT ALREADY

GUILT. we all experience it. we all know it. and yet...sometimes...we cant help doing the things that cause it...they are unavoidable. there are things that mean nothing....on the surface and then when you tihnk about how others would react....it brings you to straight shame. the question i have is...do we need t ofeel guilty when we are making ourselves happy...when we know the person or item that makes us feel guilty would WANT us to be happy...wouldnt mind at all...even if they are gone? can i live with looking at him and thinking of her....and even worse, can he deal with looking at me and thinking of her.....people that were at each others thraots ... once the person who "caused" it is gone...can they really move on. guess we will know after tommorow huh? at least hes home. at least mark isnt dead...cmon...lets try it and see babe.

the start of something new...

hmm. childhood crushes may hold more truth than you believe them too. After six years, you would be amazed to see that people can still connest as if they were never apart. When you hold someone in your heart, i suppose they really are not gone from you. After many years, my child hood crush who graduated from DCHS last year has become an immenent part of my life one again, seeing him frequently. we connect instantly, three years after not seeing each other but once a year....and i think to myself....hearts wont disconnect unless you will them too