memories..all alone in the moonlight

so right. i guess im the typical melodramatic teenage girl..... i sit outside and reminisce of the things that changed and shouldnt.....er at least i think they shouldnt have. i sing love songs at the top of my lungs and cry every now and then......wishing that the past really was as glorious as my memory recalls it to be. I know that everything changes and that is the only guarantee in life, however it vexes me to know that i cannot be everything i want to be without loosing some of what i was. i cannot be everyones rock...everyones love.... everyones best friend...all while moving on in life.college and graduation are scary enough on their own...now im thinking about twenty years down the road. i dont want to loose those connections. i dont want to be forgotten.... i want to be a part of peoples lives still. kyla donielle bray wants to be remebered. but will that happen?

its not too late, its never too late

okay, so i definetley lovethat song and that is my song of the day. im sitting around, listening to it and thinking about how true it really is. if someone really loves you, then its never to late to try it out. college will always be there, dependent upon the situations, and life is always one big adventure with no deadline but death of course. so in a world where we attempt to live, laugh. love and and learn....which is the most important? can one push the other out of the picture? can taking a chance on a venture, or a romance in the sake of learning if you want that situation take away the opportunity to succeed at what you once had? is there really a deadline other than death? do other people think that there isnt the same way that i do> respond to this post... because i would like to see if everyone truly thinks that nothing limits you but death.

BRING IT ON ..........BATTLE OF THE BANDS

AHHHHH! im so excited! well... okay if you forgot, i am a senior color guard and i am EXTREMELY competative and i do flag and rifle........and saturday starts our competitive season. We have worked really hard so far and the freshmen are doing an outstanding job. I adore color guard with every bone in my body ( though i could do without some of the people associated with it....not neccesarily the members.... just.........some of the associates). First we go on for catholic's invitational and then we come home to host our own ( and my last : / ) invitational......good luck apollo.....god and everyone in the county area knows we have worked hard...and i dont know about the rest of my fellow senior band/guard members, but i say let's start with a spark...and go out with a bang

love is blind ... ?

yes. the answer is yes for me at least.so many people think there are restrictions on life...when really..its all up to you ..... however, i do not take it in the sense of attractiveness or not..... i mean ..... people need to learn to love who they love not based on what ther peoples opinions are....their sex....race.....love is love.... and i support love... not the restrictions that come along with it

what means the most

it makes me laugh....the differnt things that we hold important in our lives. Each of us have a certain thing that just....makes our heart beat. Now im not talking about a person...we all have the love of our lives, and our childhood friends... im talking about a thing........the one thing that your world revolves around that is not a human. Mine is extremely obviuos if you know me. It's quiet.......and soft, but angry and loud.....it can be colorful or full of weapons, on a field or in the bedroom, in a chair or with a standing ovation, watched, participated in or just faintly observed. it can be a background for any mood or the main course of the day.....it has its own personality, which changes quite frequently. it also takes meaning or sometimes makes no sense at all. if by now you havent guessed it, MUSIC is the love of my life. it can hold color, contain weapons and be on a field if it is at my marching band practice (Im a color guard so i have color in the flags and i spin rifle, which is a weapon), it can be the background as you carry on a conversation, and all the other tings are easily connected once you know what it is that i am talking about. MUSIC is the love of my life ( dont take any offense Blake :D )

this is the last post i have to have to have a good grade by friday

i like this whole blogging thing, dont get me wrong. it makes me feel better to get it all out, even if its only stress related. the problem is that i just told you everything. hence i am typing this so that i can have the minimum amount of blogs due for my english class tommorow so that i can get my grade up (its horrid right now because i forgot to turn in the one freaking assignment that she took a massive grade on......wish she wouldve graded the ones i did turn in... but its alright. thats my luck lately) so thats all.... woo hoo.... GO CLASS OF 2010 :D

am i dying?

the answer is no. Well, not physically at least. and right about now youre all thinking im crazy and wondering what in the world am i talking about. well... here it is. i just broke up with someone....not too long ago that is... like a couple of weeks. he was my best friend and the longest relationship i had ever been in. you can of course, imagine the emotional stress there. i have a new boyfriend, who is A MAY ZING. he is in college, having graduated from the same school i attend, this past may. he's going to school and taking general education classes and is getting his life figured out so that he can do something practical that will always be in demand (either psychology or physical therapy). Me on the other hand, i currently take culinary arts classes at the technical college on top of my high school curriculum....and i thought it was what i wanted to do. i still love to cook, but designing cakes and having my own company is starting to seem more and more impractical. i feel like i should take something........like business. i hate business....but you need it nowadays i suppose. my parents have never been to college, so they are telling me to take whatever it is that i want to do for the rest of my life, which isnt really hekping, only making it worse. the worst part is, if i am not going to stick with culinary arts, then i have wasted and opportunity to take a basic course at the community college that my boyfriend attends and now i will have to stay here at least a year longer after graduation than i thought i was going too, which epically sucks. if you have any advice.... if anyone even reads this that is, then PLEASE tell me something.... im dying out here by myself (hence the title)

why is it never me?

have you ever worked hard for something? i mean really truly tried and worked your butt off and then..... were told that you couldnt have it? its ridiculous to think that we hold such petty human grudges to the point where the one who deserves things arent given them what they worked for because someone is holding a grudge. its ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous.... and i cant handle it. ive tried so hard in color guard....for going on three years........... and i still have nothing to show for it. im not a captain.... i have no solo... the one solo i wanted was given to a freshmen...a very sweet and very talented freshmen... but nonetheless...she stil has years to have a solo... and im out of here in may..... all i am in this world.... is bitter.