why is it never me?

have you ever worked hard for something? i mean really truly tried and worked your butt off and then..... were told that you couldnt have it? its ridiculous to think that we hold such petty human grudges to the point where the one who deserves things arent given them what they worked for because someone is holding a grudge. its ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous.... and i cant handle it. ive tried so hard in color guard....for going on three years........... and i still have nothing to show for it. im not a captain.... i have no solo... the one solo i wanted was given to a freshmen...a very sweet and very talented freshmen... but nonetheless...she stil has years to have a solo... and im out of here in may..... all i am in this world.... is bitter.