the final countdown

halloween....its almost her birthday. err...whatever you wanna call it . she would have been 18 in 5 days........ 5 freaking days.... sorry mrs matthews i am using extreme self cencorship when i speak on this topic... i dont want to offend you. i just.... i am so lost... same topic for the past three blogs and i still cant get over it. i dont know what else to say. there is no deep though process this time... just pain. thats all i have left anymore... fake smiles.....faded memories....and mroe than enough pain. all that is inside of me.... is screaming very silently.